Do you know any fence sitters who want to join without committing to veganism, but still expect all the benefits of being in a full-fledged coven/sisterhood/support system? You’ve come to the right place.
Top 5 Ways to Keep Summoning Rituals Vegan
Point - Counterpoint: Statues
We literally invented cameras so that people wouldn’t have to do statues anymore, but apparently some weirdos felt compelled to continue sculpting literal tits and asses every day in front of children. I’m here to say “Fuck that” to that. And I am. Fuck that.
Read MoreIt’s saturday! Congratulate your friends for avoiding leavened bread.
I think the Easter Bunny and our Yoshua’s resurrection was all a bit overpowering last weekend; this one’s for the tribe.
Read MoreFive Other Times God Sent His Son To Die (And One Time He Didn't)
Jesus’s trampling was his third worst death since crucifixion, if you factor in his torture during the dark ages and that one time he got hit by a bus outside an Ikea in Cleveland.
Read MoreRejected Skymall Products
FREE COPY - TAKE IT AND WE'LL REPLACE IT
Read MoreSpring Break Activated My Maternal Instincts
The most prominent sound on this plane is the baby crying three rows ahead of my boyfriend and I. Why does no one hold the baby?
Read MoreTrampoline Company Sued When Springs Break
“Putting weaponized razors on our springs has clearly proven to be a regrettable mistake,” said Greg Murphy, CEO of Tramp Champs and former Shark Tank contestant.
Read MoreI Drank a Whole Bottle of Scotch and Got My Ass Handed to Me by the Ghost of Saint Patrick
Every year I get my shit rocked by some drunk guy from Boston in a Dropkick Murphy’s-and-whiskey fueled rage.
Read MoreWhere Do I Obtain Exclusive Access To The Dunkin??
My mission is still so utterly important. I don’t think you understand. My father is Sir Duncan of Dunkin Donuts, and it’s about time that I meet him.
Read MoreWe've Sprung Forward And My Daylight Savings Is In Shambles
As the saying goes: a penny saved is a second earned, and The Stocks is a game best played fast and loose.
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