It’s Valentine’s Day, and the best way to stick it corporate America and everyone who ever doubted you is to sit at home and pleasure yourself for four to seven hours.
Read More"“The scraping of denim against my throbbing member reminded me of old timey rural America, when men had nothing to use besides generously-shaped burlap sacks to keep from getting their wives pregnant,” said Bergh, astutely."
Read More"I stretch myself out upon you, like Ted Cruz basking in the hot, morning sun, and I so very gently suck on your impossibly smooth-shaven cranium."
Read More“It seemed like the only reasonable choice, considering how shitty they make being poor look on TV.”
Read More“I’m not gonna stand here and tell you it's been anything but difficult. When I first started Cloppr, I severely overestimated the number of people who had access to carrier pigeons. That’s the battle I’ve been fighting since the company’s inception.”
Read More"Picture this: everyone’s gathered in the break room to exchange presents. You come up behind Jeff and gently cover his eyes with your hands. “Guess who?” you say, playfully."
Read MoreHere's the top 5 reasons Star Wars: The Last Jedi blows Tonton dick.
Read More0/5: Worst Fishing Movie Ever
Read More5-out-of-5 parenting skills.
Read MoreI don’t know anything about the Vietnam War, but if it’s anything like Miss Saigon portrayed it as, it sounds hot and very much worth romanticizing.
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